I often find myself thinking this. "It's too heavy for mercy."
My guilt swallows me alive. It's often hard for me to accept that despite what I've done, Christ has erased it. God's mercy? Too distant. Clearly guilt has got me seriously questioning myself. Don't believe me? I'm typing this out as my Echo Dot is playing "Even At My Worst" by Blanca.
Defining Mercy
According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, mercy means
"compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power."
I don't know how you are feeling right now. Especially after reading this definition. My feelings are a bit scattered.
Why is mercy polarizing?
Mercy's tricky. That definition from Merriam Webster is pretty polarizing. It suggests that mercy has a price-point. What I mean by that is the "compassion or forbearance shown to an offender." This use of compassion makes us question our own capacity to give and receive mercy. Furthermore, the definition leads me to think of mercy as a transaction of forgiveness and wrongdoing.
Mercy in the Context of Mental Health
Here's another definition for you:
Mercy (noun): performed out of a desire to relieve suffering; motivated by compassion. (New Oxford American Dictionary 2020).
This is different.
In fact, it makes all the difference. There is no patronizing. Nor is there an implication or distinction between a lesser-than and a greater-than. By this definition, anyone is able to give and receive mercy. Anyone who wants to alleviate suffering.
Quick shout-out to all of the people in my life who have shown me mercy. Especially my psychiatrist.
God's Mercy for Mental Health
It's important that we don't misunderstand God. Especially when we are living with mental illness. It's so easy to lose hope. Anxiety, depression, and other chemical imbalances often bring hopelessness with them.
Be that as it may, there's a more dangerous pawn on the board here. This pawn is much more lethal than losing hope. It's the one that disqualifies us from God and His ability to help us through these trying times.
Never Disqualify Yourself of God's Mercy
I like to think that God's mercy was actually God healing me during my years with Depression. God's mercy is what keeps me going now. Even though I've conquered depression, I still have a hard time managing my anxiety disorder. God's mercy makes it easier.
Here's some verses to consider next time you feel that God isn't doing anything to help heal you:
"It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy." - Romans 9:16 NIV
"Be merciful {with yourselves}, just as your Father is merciful." - Luke 6:36 NIV
"Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." - Hebrews 4:16 NIV
"But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right- everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones." - Isaiah 30:18 MSG
Things that help me with my anxiety and depression is remembering mercy. Perhaps you wouldn't be here today if you had been denied mercy. I know I wouldn't be. Mercy is a reminder to give it to others. By no exaggeration, it saves lives.
All the Peace,
AK.