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Why Dating As A 3C Student Scares Me

If this is your first encounter with Purely Pastiche, I'll give a short introduction. My name is AK. I am a full-time student with an autoimmune disorder. Oh, and I forgot to mention- I live and study 1400 miles from home. Also, I'm what I like to call a "3C Student."

The Composition of a 3C Student:

College Student.

Covid Survivalist (so far).


I didn’t realize how much these 3C’s would interact with one another once I returned to college for fall semester. COVID made college feel unrealistically Hollywoodified. As each day passed, I continued to feel like an extra in a dystopian movie- NOT a college student walking to PSC 100. To make matters worse, the relationship I thought I had begun on-campus was nonexistent when I returned. My hope for a real, tangible, consistent dating relationship turned into a dream.

I’m a simple girl. I like consistency. Transparency. Predictability. Reciprocity. Intimacy. Solidarity. Interiority. The stuff people say only God can provide. I like anything but the pulse-quickening, dreadful, checkmate-state of vulnerability.

You could say that I’ve loved emotions so much that I’ve grown to hate them. The failures in relationships I had as a child built the foundation for a strong fear of intimacy. My fear of intimacy was, and sometimes still is, the mitochondria of my emotions. My faith in God is the dendrites that redirect me from fear to trust. That’s why it’s no doubt that my longest relationship was with a man who both respected and encouraged my faith.

Don’t be mistaken, I hear you. In fact, I agree with you. It’s not impossible to find someone composed of the 3C’s, but the aftermath of such a discovery might as well be. Finding another 3C is easy. Dating them though? Sis, we just finished 2020. Vision’s so clear, we can’t see the players (or the pretenders)...

So What Does That Mean For 2020?

My dating goals for the new year are honestly ambitious. Probably overly-ambitious. I really want my next dating relationship to be my last… But isn’t that what we all want?

Keyword: "dating."

This is an important keyword. The verb-subject agreement (yah, I know… but the verb comes first, so shouldn’t the verb come first for the concept too?) here is crucial. Relationships vary in meaning, even though they shouldn’t.

You could be in a …

  • Dating relationship.

  • Hookup relationship.

  • Familial relationship.

  • Sexual relationship.

  • Platonic relationship.

According to, there are 35 TYPES of relationships. I could barely think of 5!

Dating Goals For 2021:

As I go into 2021, I strive to settle for nothing less than what fulfills my heart and soul. I’m tired of flirting with the erratic and inconsistent men of the world. I want to flirt with the men of outstanding character (Ruth 2:1 GWT). In 2021, I declare that I am no longer the dependent variable of the 21st century collegiate romantics. Rather, I will be the independent variable. I’m not called to change for someone’s false satisfaction. I am called to be a woman with notable strength of character (Ruth 3:11).

Given the current conditions of the U.S., finding someone by chance is extremely difficult. It’s not just the millennials who are trapped inside. Gen Z (and yours truly) is studying remotely. Dating apps and the power of the swipe never felt so real.

I recently partnered with a Christian dating app known as Upward. It functions the same as other dating apps. Swipe right if you like, swipe left if you don’t. The key difference between the two is that Upward is a platform for singles who want to meet others who share their beliefs. A profile card even tells you the person’s church affiliation. You can see if they are Methodist, Evangelical, Catholic, Jehovah’s Witness, Lutheran, Non-denominational, Baptist, etc. before swiping left or right. I’m using the app right now! Maybe I’ll find someone… stay tuned!

All the peace,


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