Updated: May 23, 2022
The only thing I hate more than being rejected is being disappointed.
You know what I'm calling out. That one person in your life that you keep saying will change, but never does. That one teacher you're trying so hard to please but every effort just proves that everything isn't enough. That one group you're trying to hang out with, even though they make you feel like an imposter in your own skin.
Yah. THAT type of disappointment. The projection-to-rejection disappointment.
The good news is the projection-to-rejection disappointments are completely controlled by us. I can see you about to close the tab. I can hear you saying, "but AK... Rejection is never up to me. It's always unwanted- and unwelcome."
I couldn't have said it better myself, reader. That's the exact thought that led me to a brilliant epiphany.
You know the saying, "hurting people hurt people"? That's something I've been told by everyone in my life. Starting from the moment I first felt the sting of rejection up until about 6 hours ago when it stung me again.
The reason the projection-to-rejection disappointments are completely controlled by us is because just like hurting people hurt people, rejected people reject people.
"Just like hurting people hurt people, rejected people reject people."
Once we realize that the rejection is a projection of their own pain, it helps trigger our sympathy. But our sympathy needs boundaries. As all things do.
The Boundaries of Sympathy
We can be sympathetic to past hurts, but we cannot allow it to distort reality. The reality is rejected people reject people. We can choose to project ourselves and our emotions onto people who will reject us, or we can choose to sympathize.
I'd choose to sympathize. I'm trying to right now. We're in this together.
All the Peace,
"The one who hears you hears me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects the One who sent me." - Luke 10:16 ESV