"We never wanted you in our room. Ur weird." Black sans-serif font on a white chat-room background illuminated with a dull intensity from my phone screen.
I left him on open.
"Spinning around in the chair just isn't it u know."
Again, I left him on open.
"We didn't want u here we were drunk."
I furrowed my brows quizzically as I was subconsciously typing, "Did I ask?" Then I shook my head, backspaced the question, and left him on open again. If he wanted the final word, he could have it.
"No response will pass"
? What does that even mean? (If you can tell me, don't). Exit app.
You can probably say it before I type it: rejection.
Verbal Vomit
The person just kept going. Verbal assault after verbal assault. Thankfully, I didn't care. His opinion was of zero value to me. So the intended verbal assault was just inconvenient verbal vomit.
But how did I get to the point where I was able to discredit his words without them piercing my soul? Keep reading.
What really happened here was at a frat party. A random person grabbed me by the shoulder to steady themselves before retching hard liquor all over the space in front of them. It didn't affect me, but it did gross me out.
Except the venue was no frat party. It was an online chat room. The vomit was not made of hard liquor. It was made up of words. All the same, it didn't affect me. But it did gross me out.
Rejection is gross. Projected rejection is inconveniently entrenching.
"Rejection is gross. Projected rejection is inconveniently entrenching."
What I mean by that is rejection is a yucky, unwanted, bitter, moldy, disgusting thing to endure and/or witness. No one wants it. There's some people who avoid it at all costs. I don't blame them, but they are missing out on some very entrenching soul-formation.
Entrenching (verb): 1.(with object) establish (an attitude, habit, or belief) so firmly that change is very difficult or unlikely. 2. Establish (a person) in a position of great strength or security.
I talked about being projected to rejection in Vol. 3 . To reiterate my last entry, projection to rejection is necessary for attaining 2 life-changing weapons: resiliency and resistance.
Entrenching establishes resiliency and resistance so firmly that instability is very difficult or unlikely to occur. Without resiliency and resistance, the effects of rejection can be catastrophic. Though it is inconvenient, entrenching through projected rejection is good. It's how I was able to discredit his words and affirm them with God's truths. I know it hurts. I know that it is painful. But I also know the long-term gain of such endurance:
- resiliency
- resistance
- security
- humility
- unshakeable identity
- undeterred spirit
(I should've said gains).
I've been rejected so many times that the verbal vomit of projected rejection was nothing more than that- verbal vomit.
Here's some important truths to remember next time you're being entrenched:
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him." - James 1:12
"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." - James 1:2-4 NLT
You can do it. I know you can. You aren't alone. All of us are being entrenched in one way or another. But you have something most others don't: a good God.
All the peace,
AK.