"I've done that before! Don't do it. He says he's going to cut her off but trust me! He says he will reject her but he won't. She's gonna be like a parasite. She won't go away. And she will always- ALWAYS- cause problems!" My mouth clamped shut behind my mask. I stared deep into my friend's eyes to prove my seriousness. Then, the girl across from us verbalized a question that I'd only ever let echo in my mind:
"Who hurt you?"
What a loaded question.
Some random pastor once said that when you get anxious enough, your body goes into the same type of fight-or-flight that it would if it sensed a lethal threat. I didn't really understand what he meant until now. As I mentally searched my brain bank for some type of receipt or transaction record of hurt, I saw my life flashing before my eyes. Not the good or neutral moments. Just the downright embarrassing, stupid, painful ones. The ones I'd rather let the paper shredder eat for dinner.
The receipts started printing.
Item: Person 1.
Store Location: high school.
Time: 11:00 a.m.
Item: Person 2.
Store location: middle school.
Time: mid afternoon.
Cost: comfort and security.
Item: Person 3.
Store location: elementary school.
I wish someone or something had run interference before those transactions were finalized. I wish that my younger self was better at processing costs. I wish that I didn't read all of those Judy Moody chapter books. I wish I had addressed my problems head-on instead of running to my fictional healing space. I wish I had come up with the rejection receipts concept at age 10 instead of age 20.
The whole thing reminds me of Luke 6:42.
Luke 6:42 often gets misinterpreted. The subject of the sentence is "you" and the predicate is "hypocrite." So, obviously, we understand that to mean we are hypocrites. But what if that wasn't the subject of the text? What if the subject is a completely different objective?
The verse says that we must pull the log out of our own eye before helping someone else take the log out of theirs. This makes sense. I wouldn't want advice from someone who has the same unresolved vice, problem, or struggle as me. I'd want advice from someone who has HAD the same vice, problem, or struggle and HAS resolved it.
I'd want advice from someone who has HAD the same vice, problem, or struggle and HAS resolved it.
The subject of the text is that we can't help others until we help ourselves. We can't heal others until we have healed too. Otherwise, we're just giving them instructions to a made-up destination. The destination won't be real. The only way we would know the real destination is if we have been there ourselves.
That destination being healing, and rejection refunded.
We can get our rejection receipts refunded. It's possible! I know it is because I've started working on returning the items for a refund. Whether that item was a person, choice I made, behavior I engaged in, or thought I had. As soon as I return these things- by way of "cancelling" someone, reversing my choice, changing my behavior, choosing mind over matter- I get a refund.
Maybe it's time you started returning rejection receipts for refunds too.
All The Peace,